Thursday, April 23, 2009

Stop right there!

I'm warning you. There is a lot of cussing in this blog. Which is weird really, because in real life, i'm not much of a cusser. Okay, that might be a lie. But, I definitely know when to cuss and when not to cuss. On my blog = okay. Around my 4 year old= not okay.

I did a whole bunch of checking and unchecking on my blog today. And then I posted a comment that was not anonymous on another blog. And now I'm paranoid that others are going to read this blog. And then I decided oh well, no one I really know in real life will read this blog. Then I went and edited the post where I bitched and moaned about everyone i know and everything i do. Just in case.

This woman right here....she's a keeper!

This is Beverly. Or as I like to call her, Bevie. Or as River likes to call her, barewy....she has been a part of our family since our baby was 6 weeks old. I am blogging about her because I don't want time to ever be able to erase the gratitude I have for her in my heart. One day she was a stay at home grandma, content with taking care of Amanda and going about life as she knew it. The next day, she was meeting me, my hubby and our teeny tiny little boy. You see, River was a little early and a little little. He had a few health concerns and that left us, unprepared. unprepared. and oh yes, unprepared. Normally i'm a plan ahead type of chick. Which still baffles me, why at 37 weeks, i did not even begin to consider childcare for my baby, for when i had to return to work. It's as if God said, "everybody just chill out, i got this!" there we were, in her living room, meeting her for the first time.....beverly is kinda sorta not really related to us....she is (are you ready?) justin's step-brother's ex wife's mother.....neat huh???....she had heard about our dreamy mcpreemie and thought maybe she could help us out with childcare for a few months....well, a few months led to 4 years...during that 4 years, she went above and beyond the call of duty...she was AWESOME....she loves River like he is her own grandchild...he's had her wrapped around his finger since the day she met him...she was an intrical part of his first 4 years...i trust her with my heart (after all, that is what he is!!) and never EVER had to worry about him, knowing he was in good hands!...river stayed home with me until 11:15 every morning, went to Beverly's until daddy picked him up, every day for four years....river and amanda were the only kids at Bevie's and Amanda is school aged, so Bev and Riv logged a lot of hours together....there were their weekly trips to the bread store, there outings to the craft store, countless hours in her backyard, and even several golf tounaments (she got him hooked on golf!!)...we knew it wouldnt last forever...and this year, Beverly gave us plenty of notice that she would like to officially retire.....we ended up finding a school and river has since started is where he needs to be...he is progressing as he should...but i will have to tell you....nothing can bring tears to my eyes as instantly as thinking about our Bevie....she helped create my son and who he is today...and for that, i am beyond eternally and forever grateful!!!

Dear self,

dude!!! you are only 33!!! Quit thinking you are 34!!! I mean, we know you love Elton John, Willie Nelson and you like to go to bed early, but do we really need to really forget 33? What did 33 do to you anyway!!

Your beautiful 33 year old lovin' self

P.S: I know your 33 because I just pulled out the calculator. 2008 minus 1975 is 33 (haven't had a birthday in 2009). Laugh if you must, this is life on the OTHER side of the brain!!

If it were up to me....

I would live in my cute litte house, in my semi-cute little neighborhood, have my son go to the same cute little school, keep the same cute, er, shitty little job and keep my cute little husband the same every day for the rest of my God given life. I mean what is so BAD about all this?? Nothing really. But, the J man every once and awhile decides he needs a change. He would like to move. But, i don't want to move!!! or do i?? are we going to be able to sell our home?? i don't know. where in the hell am i going to find a job in the economy we have right now???ugggg....

well, on to bigger. and brighter. and more beautiful things. like, my little boy who is quickly. surely. before my very eyes. turning into a big boy.