Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Girlfriends are the bestfriends

I switched it up a bit this week. Took a few hours to relish some quality girlfriend time. Girls ROCK:

We took lots of pictures. Lots and lots and lots of pictures. My friend is a photographer. I can't say I've ever been hiking with a photographer. Photography really slows me down and keeps me in the now.

We discussed relationships. Both past, present and future.

We talked about our goals, our dreams, our visions.

The best part? We didn't talk the whole time. Lot's of time to reflect and recharge.

I lied. That wasn't the best part. The best part was when I got home, kicked off my shoes and partook:


Sunday, August 28, 2011

Vacation is.....

Vacation time is always 5:00.

Vacation is time for catching the big ones.

Vacation is for driving home from summer camp (day camp. best idea EVER).

Vacation is for yoga, lots of yoga. In the rain garden.

Vacation is primetime for meditation and reflection.

Vacation is for a 5 day mohawk.

Vacation has a dresscode. Tie die and flip flops.

Vacation is for making memories and fun family time.

Vacation is for giving thanks and appreciating the beauty in every day.

Lake Vacation 2011 is officially over.


Friday, August 26, 2011

We're still on vacation right?

We've arrived at our destination. Our lake house in the middle of nowhere. In the middle of the summer.

I don't know about you, but my perfect day starts with a coffee cruise. Did I mention that we're at the lake now? We don't 'do' cars this week. Our transportation is by boat. A long, solo, sunrise coffee cruise. Did I mention SOLO? 'cuz that's where it's at. Let's find a good parking spot and head for java.

Up these stairs to meet our barista.
I'll order a large black coffee with french vanilla. What the heck, we're on vacation! What are you getting?

Back to the boat for a nice long cruise. Sometimes we'll go fast. Sometimes we'll go slow. Sometimes we'll just shut it all down in the middle of the lake and ponder. We'll pray. We'll ask God to please, please, please instill a love of fishing in our hearts. True story.

Yes, you can sit in the beanie. It's awesome. You know what else is awesome? This vacation! And I'm not done, vacation round III next time!


Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Do you want to go on vacation with me?

Do you want to go on a really long but kind of fun road trip? Let's roll the windows down and listen to Amos Lee. We should definitely take the roads less travelled. Then we might stumble upon things like this:

What the what??!!?? Carhenge? Definitely on the back roads. Speaking of backroads, look what else we'll see:

and just about sunset, we'll be shown a great gift, Chimney Rock in all her glory:

And we haven't even reached our destination yet!!! But we will, next post!

Love and Smooches,

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

The night that changed it all.

I believe it's called Manifest Destiny?

I'm not going to lie. Weight loss is a total bitch. A whorey bitch. A stinky, smelly, whorey, bitch. And to make matters worse, I suck at it. I suck so bad that I don't even try. I don't talk about it. I don't acknowledge it. Atleast not on the outside. But on the inside, I notice it.

And then, I realized. I'm not the only one who notices. And I'm not being fair. In the course of one conversation, a myriad of emotions were felt. Anger, rage, resentment, love. Most of all love. It started with a simple statement.

'Let's do this together'

And it got deep. Real deep. And it got real. And I am even more in love with my husband now than ever. After a week of crying and sobbing and acting hysterically, I got control of myself and I'm moving forward.

I moved from sadness. Why doesn't he love me no matter what? Why can't I weigh 300 pounds and he accept it? I went through anger. Why is weight so important? I think my curves are fantabulous. Fuck him! Who are you? the food police?

And the most glorious of all states: acceptance.

Did you hear me???? ACCEPTANCE. I accept that I'm not the same weight I was when I met you. 10 years ago, HOLLA!! In fact, I'm 45+ pounds more than I was when I met you. And that is not fair. It's not right. I'm beautiful, yes. I'm awesome, of course! I'm your best friend, without a doubt. But I'm overweight. And as bad as that furreeeeekin sucks, it's true.

and because I love you. And because I love myself. And because I love our boy. I'm going to change. I can do it. I have demons that need to be fought.

Those demons should be afraid because I'm a damn ninja and I'm pissed. Something is different this time. I'm fighting for my life. I'm fighting for my marriage. I'm fighting for intimacy. I'm fighting for a decent tasting black bean burger. I'm fighting for happiness and love and confidence. I'm fighting for ME.