This woman right here....she's a keeper!

This is Beverly. Or as I like to call her, Bevie. Or as River likes to call her, barewy....she has been a part of our family since our baby was 6 weeks old. I am blogging about her because I don't want time to ever be able to erase the gratitude I have for her in my heart. One day she was a stay at home grandma, content with taking care of Amanda and going about life as she knew it. The next day, she was meeting me, my hubby and our teeny tiny little boy. You see, River was a little early and a little little. He had a few health concerns and that left us, unprepared. unprepared. and oh yes, unprepared. Normally i'm a plan ahead type of chick. Which still baffles me, why at 37 weeks, i did not even begin to consider childcare for my baby, for when i had to return to work. It's as if God said, "everybody just chill out, i got this!"....so there we were, in her living room, meeting her for the first time.....beverly is kinda sorta not really related to us....she is (are you ready?) justin's step-brother's ex wife's mother.....neat huh???....she had heard about our dreamy mcpreemie and thought maybe she could help us out with childcare for a few months....well, a few months led to 4 years...during that 4 years, she went above and beyond the call of duty...she was AWESOME....she loves River like he is her own grandchild...he's had her wrapped around his finger since the day she met him...she was an intrical part of his first 4 years...i trust her with my heart (after all, that is what he is!!) and never EVER had to worry about him, knowing he was in good hands!...river stayed home with me until 11:15 every morning, went to Beverly's until daddy picked him up, every day for four years....river and amanda were the only kids at Bevie's and Amanda is school aged, so Bev and Riv logged a lot of hours together....there were their weekly trips to the bread store, there outings to the craft store, countless hours in her backyard, and even several golf tounaments (she got him hooked on golf!!)...we knew it wouldnt last forever...and this year, Beverly gave us plenty of notice that she would like to officially retire.....we ended up finding a school and river has since started attending...it is where he needs to be...he is progressing as he should...but i will have to tell you....nothing can bring tears to my eyes as instantly as thinking about our Bevie....she helped create my son and who he is today...and for that, i am beyond eternally and forever grateful!!!

Dear self,

dude!!! you are only 33!!! Quit thinking you are 34!!! I mean, we know you love Elton John, Willie Nelson and you like to go to bed early, but do we really need to really forget 33? What did 33 do to you anyway!!

Love,
Your beautiful 33 year old lovin' self

P.S: I know your 33 because I just pulled out the calculator. 2008 minus 1975 is 33 (haven't had a birthday in 2009). Laugh if you must, this is life on the OTHER side of the brain!!

If it were up to me....

I would live in my cute litte house, in my semi-cute little neighborhood, have my son go to the same cute little school, keep the same cute, er, shitty little job and keep my cute little husband the same every day for the rest of my God given life. I mean what is so BAD about all this?? Nothing really. But, the J man every once and awhile decides he needs a change. He would like to move. But, i don't want to move!!! or do i?? are we going to be able to sell our home?? i don't know. where in the hell am i going to find a job in the economy we have right now???ugggg....

well, on to bigger. and brighter. and more beautiful things. like, my little boy who is quickly. surely. before my very eyes. turning into a big boy.

Precious precious precious

is my time spent with family...after a whirlwind Christmas, i was left feeling void...of real and true quality time with some of my favorite people....so, as tradition dictates, we met in kearney...woo hoo....kearney, home of my alma mater and home to so many memories....also home to the 1/2 way spot between mamabear and me....so, we (gwammie, mamabear, river, me, aunt mary and amanda) met on a friday night at the good ole' Hampton Inn...best hotel on earth, imo....we had pizza from valentinos...went swimming...woke up and ate breakfast....went to lunch with bambi and family...went to target...bought some things...two dresses, underwear, shoes, yes, it was a good shopping trip...yee haw...went to the mall for more shopping and so river could play with the train set in the middle of the mall....back to the hotel....more swimming, more eating....stayed up late chatting...next day, run in the workout room, breakfast, drove home....i swear, it's weekends like that, they recharge my batteries, help me focus, cleanse my brain and boost my endorphins...it was good...it was all good....and here are some pictures to prove...

Crazy bitch alert (see below)

to delete or not to delete? i don't think anyone reads this blog but me. so, my inclination is to leave it up. but, then i start doing the "what if" bit. what if i die and my mom stumbles across this blog. what if i die and my son stumbles across this bit in 50 years? well, what if i'm a damn human. and sometimes the thoughts i have in my head aren't exactly politically correct? what if i'm honest and in touch and give myself validation that like isn't always hunky doory. what if can go suck itself! and by the way, when did we start cussing and being raunchy on this here blog? about hte same time, i stopped giving a shit about the what ifs, is when. and i call myself a mother??? yes, and a damn good momma if i do say so.

rant over. the hippiewildmama will resume her regular scheduled brain scanning!

i'm a fixin' to tell you

what the fuck goes on in my head on days like today.

first off. i hate mondays. but, today i decided i was going to like mondays. that didn't last long. fuck you mondays. fuck you internet bully bitches. like the stupid sunflower from thenest. you get me pissed every time. i spend way too much time on the internet. and not nearly enough time working. i'm burnt out doing what i do. and i'm fucked. because, there are no jobs i'm interested in. my (someone related to me) annoys the shit out of me. not to mention my beep, my beep and everyone else. i am so fucking negative today, that it is annoying me. i'm pissed at william topley. because i love him so much, i wanted to meet him and i couldn't. so now, i'm boycotting him. very mature. very very very. my beep bugs the piss out of me too. because she is racist and beep. and now i have to deal with it. i still hold a grudge against my step grandparents because they were so mean to me. i hate working out. i hate eating healthy. i feel like a bad mom. i feel like a bad wife. i am mad at GOD. did i mention that i hate my job?...and i hate criminals...and i hate having to listen to everyone else's god dammed problems all day every day?...and back to my beep...he bugs the shit out of me.....and these damn inmates are lining up out there to meet with me and i don't want to even fucking see them....they suck.....i hate that i worry so much about rw's name and i hope that i didn't fuck him up in any way, shape or form......can't we all just get along???...i hate when dogs jump on me and their humans don't say shit....and i hate that my husband always leaves me a dirty and gross car....love, me

The history of me oh my...

20 years ago...October 1988
1. just met my best friend becky. we are still buddies.
2. my mom just divorced tom, we were living on our own
3. i was making out with Chris Hennesey and my mom caught us
4. i smoked my first cigarette (thanks becky)
5. i went to church and was active in the youth group

10 years ago....October 1998
1. i was working at ACTC
2. i was partying with jill every weekend
3. i was 23, that explains a lot
4. i lived in an apartment with jill
5. i was dating a gigantic asshole of a man (both in size and personality)

5 years ago...October 2003
1. we were just returning from our honeymoon
2. susan was not a convicted felon
3. dad was undergoing treatment for cancer
4. i had the same job
5. we had fun hanging out with jeanne marie and eldon

3 years ago...October 2005
1. i had a six month old baby boy
2. i took pictures of him in his Halloween costume (tiger) and he fell asleep
3. my yard looked like shit
4. we lived in the first home we owned
5. still at the same job

1 year ago...October 2007
1. river was a chicken for Halloween and the "i don't like it, it's too hairy"
line became infamous
2. i planted daffodils for the first time
3. running became fun and something i was passionate about
4. i didn't eat ANY Halloween candy the whole year
5. leigh and i went to ty/kylee's wedding

So far this year....2008
1. Aunt Mary dx with cancer, underwent tx and is doing well.
2. Donna Nelson dx with cancer, undergoing treatment
3. Justin and i went to Lake Tahoe for a wedding.
4. I busted my head racing Justin in Okoboji.
5. Went to the spa in Arizona with the Mahlendorf girls.

Today....October 31, 2008
1. I had Great Harvest Bread toast with strawberry jam for breakfast.
2. RW got up in the middle of the night and changed his pajamas.
3. RW wanted to go to Beverly's house in his jammies. I said okay.
4. RW is going to be a policeman for trick or treat night.
5. our marriage is stronger than ever, i am so in love with my man.

This year.....2008-2009
1. i want to accomplish my list of goals
2. i want to eat at Steubens
3. i will change my lifestyle, become a healthier eater/exercizer
4. i will plant more daffodils
5. we will have taken BIG steps towards our financial future.

My most favorite of ALL!!

Hello cuteness. Hello love.

Two (more) of my favorite things!!

Green beans and Acorn squash. The beans are from the ACTC garden. The squash is Colorado grown. The beans were broiled. The squash was baked (with budda baby and brown sugar). Yum and Yum.

I love you Ona Pitcher!

I bought you at around noon on Saturday. It is now Tuesday afternoon and I've already used you (but not abused you) three times. Saturday night it was red wine with Jim, Misty, Jut and I. Sunday morning, you beautifully held our orange/pineapple/banana juice. And the finale (and hangover refresher) Sunday afternoon you sported some slices of lime with some water. Yum. I've wanted you for 5 years. It was a sign from God. He sent me a 15% off coupon in my latest Crate and Barrel magazine. Ahhhhh....

Our family pumpkin-palooza!

We had a great Sunday in October. The Bronco's played Monday Night Football (in hindsight, we can't really call it playing, but that is another story). That opened up a whole afternoon for a pumpkin carving extravaganza!! I would love to crown Justin as the BEST PUMPKIN CARVER EVER!....seriously, the man is a pumpkin carving MACHINE!



I stayed busy in the kitchen, toasting pumpkin seeds, making a pumpkin loaf and baking a yummy meal. I made meatloaf mini's, steak fries and asparagas. Of course, we (justin and i)spent the afternoon downing these seasonal beauties!



And for the finished product:

Four perfectly carved pumpkins and one little boy whose spirits were high! Nothing beats a Sunday afternoon with the family!